waddellsonline.com

I was sitting in peak hour watching the usual mix of patience and aggression from Australian drivers and it dawned on me that choice was a fundamental factor in road behaviour.  And then over the past few months it has kept appearing in discussion  and behaviour.  Actually it has come up so many times I am beginning to see it at the heart of a great deal of life’s day to day challenges.

When it comes to driving, my observation was that when a driver forces their way into a gap the driver behind more often than not becomes agitated.  Whereas when a driver indicates and waits to be let in there is generally never agitation from the driver behind.  Even though the outcome is the same.  It seems a culture has developed on the roads where generally drivers are not given a choice to act generously and patiently, instead they are forced to comply with someone else’s desire to be in front of them.  Which fuels more agitation.   It seems apparent that only those who decided that regardless of all the actions of others they will remain considerate and patient survive the drive to work at peace.  This obviously isn’t the same in places like Paris where it is standard to forcefully negotiate your way to where you need to be.  So more specifically this case was about denying choice where it is expected.

This made me more conscious of choice;
-    Do we really have choice in what we buy or are we told what we need and don’t need?
-    Do we have choice in the life we lead?
-    Are we free to do what we want? Really anything.
-    Do we have choice in what defines us as human beings?
-    Do we have choice in deciding what makes us happy?
-    Do we have choice in how we act?

Based on various discussions it seems apparent that for most people, once a little thought has been given they answer no to most these questions.  Most of us acknowledge that living in a society means we have to forgo a great deal of choice/freedom.  Which in itself is a choice; to be satisfied not having any choice.

So on one hand we spend a great deal of our time and effort ensuring people don’t tell us what to do, arguing for our beliefs.  And on the other hand we acknowledge we have no REAL choice and just move on.

I also found it interesting that some people find it almost offensive to suggest choice in everything should exist.  That apparently because we live in a society a great deal of choice must be forgone for the greater good.  As though choice would somehow be destructive to our “peaceful” society.  I can see the point but I think it is slightly misguided.  I don’t think people choose to be destructive without influence/pressure and I don’t really see how someone else’s choices need to affect us.  Currently society tells us we need to comply and be without real choice – we could be wrong.

Going back to my comment about making the choice to not have a choice and being happy with that.  I don’t think I am alone in struggling with accepting this from time to time.   After all we could just change our lives tomorrow if we really wanted to right?  Go chase that dream, escape the rat race etc etc.  So why don’t we?   Perhaps because we have become so indoctrinated into what we should be, and reliant on what we have.  We fear the level of change required to make us (possibly) happy.

A lot of people are ‘down-shifting’ these days which is a pretty significant step, and teenagers take to the air to see the world with a backpack and a card full of credit.   In these and many other scenarios people appear to have choice but remain safe in the bounds of things like healthcare and a job (eventually).   Long gone are the days of ascetics roaming the country, reliant on the generosity of others from meal to meal.   Ascetics had REAL choice.

So how does this affect our satisfaction/happiness?  I believe it has a significant impact as real (meaningful) choice is now seemingly out of our hands and all we can do is focus on shallow and pretty pointless choices instead.  As I said before, whatever your goals are in life you need to be able to decide which way to go, what to do, what is right etc.  So if choice at this level has been given up how do we reach our potential AND be happy?   Personally I’m not sure we can always achieve it and then maintain it.  Unless perhaps our potential aligns wonderfully with societies ideal, or we master the art of fooling ourselves.

So here’s a thought:  Our true potential can only be met if we can choose what is right and wrong for us and go that way, otherwise we are just complying to someone else’s definition of true potential.

What choices are you allowing others to make today?

What choices are you making about yourself today?